Horrible.  And even that does not give this “dining” experience justice.  Never before have I walked out of a restaurant after waiting 40 minutes and been completely disrespected in the process.

Despite the rave reviews from the likes of Zagat’s and Immaculate Infatuation, this Brooklyn Heights rustic American restaurant falls short on all service accounts.  The food might be wonderful, but we didn’t even make it that far.

On a Sunday afternoon, around 1:45, we entered Colonie for what we hoped would be a lovely family brunch.  Do not be fooled by the gorgeous decor, because that is the only gorgeous and pleasant thing about this restaurant.  My sister and I requested a menu to look over while we waited the 40 minutes for our table.  The hostess and manager handed us the cocktail menu.  Thanks, but no thanks.  My sister is underage.  We were hoping to look at the food.  We corrected her and with an attitude she brought us the food menu.

Each of us decided on our orders before sitting down, stomachs grumbling and ready to eat.  We were finally seated towards the back of the restaurant.  After ordering our coffees, we immediately asked to place our orders for food.

My mom ordered the scramble.  Then my sister attempted to order the Trout.  Without the slightest bit of sympathy, the waitress told us they were out of the fish.  She rudely stated, “I’ll come back to you,” as if it was my sister’s fault that her dish was no longer an option.  She then proceeded to take my order.  I asked for the Duck Hash.  Then my Dad attempted to order the Shrimp and Grits.  The waitress said they were out of Shrimp as well, but he could have grits.

Now, this menu only has 9 brunch items.  They were out of two of the main ingredients.  We were slightly annoyed and said we needed more time to order.  My sister had two forks placed in front of her, and my mom kindly asked for another knife.  Rolling her eyes, the waitress said, “oh you’re staying?”

The attitude was unacceptable.  We asked to speak to the manager, who doubled as the hostess.  We said that it was not okay that they were out of food when they claim to serve brunch until 3pm.  She said, “you’re upset we’re out of Monkey Bread?” This we did not know.  Three dishes.  Gone.  At 2:30pm.  I asked her why we were not made aware of the lack of food during out 40 minute wait.

“If you’re not happy, then you should leave.”

These words came out of the manager’s mouth.  Excuse me?  I have never felt more disrespected by a restaurant.  Especially with my parents.  Maybe their product is great, but that is no way to ever treat a customer.

We promptly got up and exited the restaurant.  My sister slipped on water on her way out, since this place clearly cannot clean up after itself.  My dad kindly whispered to the owner that I write a food blog, and her snide grin disappeared from her face.  Needless to say, I will never be back.

If you want attitude and rude service, then by all means try Colonie.

For a much more pleasant experience, stay far away.  Thanks to the terrible attitude at Colonie, we discovered the wonderful Cafe Luluc.  In the end, I have never been more pleased to expose the rotten core behind a beautiful restaurant.

Colonie – 127 Atlantic Avenue – Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn
Price: $$$
Location: Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn
Type: New American
Perfect For: Wasting Time & Money
Open: Everyday
Reservations: Not Available
Favorite Dishes:

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